Motherhood is...

Hard.

I feel like I am living two different lives in one. My first life wakes up early. Feeds the baby, changes the baby, plays with the baby, sleeps a little if possible, reads, talks to Dallas and sends him off to work. Then I put the baby down for a nap... my second life begins as my two kids wake up around 8:30. I feed them, dress them and get them ready for wherever it is we need to go that day. Then, when the baby wakes, I combine the two lives into one. The day is crazy though. Because now my two lives are all blended into one: being a mom of a demanding baby and being the mom of two young children. Trying to get things done all at once (with a baby on my hip).... cooking, cleaning, driving, shopping, planning, working out, diaper changing, feeding, showering (if I am lucky), disciplining, organizing, doing laundry, playing with kids, and trying to keep up with all the things I should be doing on top of all the day to day stuff (phone calls, scheduling appointments, reading scriptures, visiting friends, teaching my kids, taking photos of my kids, recording memories, etc.. etc... etc.). My only relief is nap time and bed time. But even then I am not done. I am never done. Because when one life slows down, the other speeds up. It's a vicious cycle.

I hit a point where I can't take it anymore. But I put on a face and pretend that I can. The only person who knows I am falling apart at the seams is Dallas. Poor Dallas... because all the weight that was on my shoulders gets shifted to his.

Being a mom is hard. It's the plain, honest truth. At the end of the day I don't know how else to describe it. But when I wake up in the morning, I do it again. Because it's what I want. Truly it is, I just have to keep reminding myself that it is all worth it. My three crazy, adorable, fun, loving, wonderful children are worth it and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This photo is for my 12 for 2012 project. The theme for May is: Motherhood is... The technique is: self portrait. This really isn't a portrait of myself, but I am in the photo :) It's more of my perspective, my view on things as a mom of young children. I really like how it turned out. I only wish Makiah would have been it the photo... but that's ok, I still love it.

Everyday life...

Could I have made this post any longer? Yes. But I had to stop somewhere. 36 37 photos. I could have posted 60... but I didn't (lucky for you ;)). For March our 12 for 2012 theme is Everyday Life... The technique (or style) is Documentary.  I am SOOO glad I did this project. I am even happier that I have these photos. This is our day (in a nutshell... I may have left out some crying... some tantrums... teasing... fighting... but it's kinda hard to take pictures of such times). The pictures aren't perfect, but this is us. Our day. What we do. 

Now I am thinking of all the things I could add to this. Evan's school day, driving in the car, going to the park, playing volleyball, doing art projects, playing with legos... just some of the things we do throughout the day. I am so glad I took this challenge! I love that I will have these photos to remember these times.

Love is...

February just flew by. Really, it did. I hardly got a chance to think about this month's 12 for 2012 challenge. I could make up a few excuses.... but really, I just should have been more on top of it. To make up for it, I am really excited for March's challenge, and I plan to get a head start. I will NOT procrastinate this time ;)

Lucky for me, I had some photos that I took this month that kinda fit for this month's challenge. Well for the theme at least... but not the technique. In that area I failed. The technique was: creative angles... and this is definitely not a photo with a creative angle. Though the cuteness of it makes up for that.

Anyway, February's theme: Love is...

As I sat and thought, on the last day of the month, about what I should post (I am sooo on top of things, I know...) I stopped and thought about these two. The love they have for each other was something I decided that would be perfect for this theme. And then I remembered the photos that I used for this project. The photos show their love so well. It's a fun, sweet, caring love that I just adore. They are best friends. I can't imagine one without the other. They are so lucky to have each other, and I am so lucky to have them.

12 for 2012 - Solitude is...

Some photography friends of mine have started a 12 for 2012 photography project with me. Each month we will be posting photos that follow a theme. We will also be practicing different techniques. This month's technique is "Embrace the grain."  I typically slow down my shutter speed before raising my ISO when shooting in low light. I've found that this isn't a very good habit. I end up with too many blurred photos. Raising the ISO does produce more grain in a photo, but if used in the right way it can add an artistic feel to the photo. 

Solitude is... 

Reading was one of the first things that came to my mind when I heard the theme for January. Reading is something I love, but I just don't get enough time to do. I often find Makiah sitting off on her own looking at a book. I love that at 3, she will slow down and take time to do this.

These photos were taken next to a window, but I still needed more light. Rather than using my flash, I raised my ISO to 1600. My shutter speed was 1/200 of a second and my aperture was set at f/2.8.

I am excited to have a photo challenge each month. It will be fun to do a personal project and document some of the fun things I do with my family.