Furniture hunting

I am constantly keeping my eye out for the furniture we need. I think the only things we've bought new are Daphne's crib, a pack n play, and our bookshelves.  I just wait until I find used items. Overall I save money, and sometimes I find pieces that are great quality. Much better then some of the things you can buy new these days. I've found almost all our furniture on craigslist. My favorite things and probably the luckiest things I've found are the girl's beds and their dresser :) They are all a dark walnut, they look so nice together.

Anyway, yesterday I went a little craigslist crazy and found a bunch of things I wanted (I'm still waiting to hear back about a couch, but I'm guessing I didn't get it :/ ). One thing I found was a dresser for Dallas, it was at a flea market called Buy It Here Too. We went to check it out and came home with a dining table and chairs instead :)

I LOVE my table!! I've been hunting for one for over a year now, so it's a relief to have it. It's white... and so is the rest of my kitchen. But I'm loving how it all looks with our dark floors. The top is actually a very light green. I like it, but I'm not sure if it goes with the rest of the house. I'll leave it for now, but painting the top a bolder color would be fun.

We've had our previous table for over 8 years now, Dallas' parents gave it to us when we got married. It's actually the last piece of furniture we still have from our newly wed days. Kinda bitter sweet. We are definitely ready for something bigger :) Our new table fits six and I'm tempted to find/build a bench so we can fit all the kids on one side if we have visitors.

Up until yesterday I planned on painting a table that I got for free a year ago, it needs to be painted and fixed up... And it needs chairs. It's been in our garage waiting for me to make up my mind and get going with it. I just wasn't loving it and didn't want to put in the effort for something I didn't love. I'm glad I found something that doesn't need a paint job or chairs... problem solved.

Phone pictures from our lunch today...

Therapy

It's was running joke between Dallas and I that volleyball is my "therapy" and without it I'm a mess. Over time it became less of a joke and more of a reality. I NEED volleyball. At least once a week... But really, every other day would be ideal. Recently I haven't had my weekly volleyball league which had been my relief and excitement that I got to look forward too. My therapy. It's winter and I really struggle with anxiety during these cold months. Luckily I've had church volleyball to look forward to, but I've been thinking lately of other things that have been my "therapy" during this long winter...

Friends. Being able to leave in the evenings with a couple friends and just hang out at Starbucks or McDonalds and chat. Or a girls night or movie night at a friends house. We all need the adult conversation and to be able to get out of the house. Soooo nice.

A good book. This winter I've read the Divergent series and the Cinder series. Loved them both! It's so nice to escape reality and get caught up in a good story.

Photography. I forget about my big girl camera all to often. But when I pull it out I'm so happy. Last week I did an in home family session and it was just what I needed to remember how much I love photography. Now I'm dreaming of starting a photography business again... This time specializing in lifestyle or rather, storytelling photography. Taking photos of real life as it happens. Now I'm determined to have my big girl camera out and ready to practice on my kiddos and to create art for my own walls.

Thank goodness for therapy.

Bitter Sweet

One year ago today I blogged this post. I just had one of the most memorable experiences. A very emotional day that's for sure. I am so lucky to have it all recorded and the photos that Kim took. It certainly is a day I won't ever forget. I think birthdays are just as much (if not more) for mom... a day to look back and remember that day I held my sweet baby in my arms for the first time.

Daphne is now a "big girl" walking, trying to talk, playing with the big kids, carrying around a purse, "talking" on the phone, eating just about anything we give her, communicating her wants, throwing tantrums, giving high fives, playing peek-a-boo and pat-a-cake, giving hugs and kisses...

I really can't get enough of this girl. She is happy, easy going and she fits right in with our little family. We all love her more than anything. Really, I could just look at that cute face allll day.

Dallas and me.

Let's face it. We are starving for attention... the kids get it all. So what do we do? We leave on a date, take random pictures of ourselves, and then post them all over the blog :) 

On Saturday we went to see Brian Regan. It was the best date ever. An hour and a half in the car alone, a FUNNY show and then another hour and a half in the car alone. Ahhh. We sure needed a night out and it was great. Over 5 hours of being kid free... we love the kids, but it's sure nice to get some Dallas and me time. Brian Regan is HILARIOUS. We just about died laughing that night, it was great. We have been wanting to see one of his shows for a few years now and it was totally worth it. Loved it. 

This is where it gets hard.

There is a reason why I haven't blogged. Or caught up with everything that has been happening this summer.

Taking care of 3 kids is hard.

They all have their own needs, they are all in very different stages in life.

Daphne eats, naps, crawls around and gets into everything. I can't take my eye off of her. She needs to be carried, rocked and cared for every second of the day.

Makiah needs entertainment. She needs to talk, play.... she needs interaction. She is still dependent on me, she needs help at meal time, doing her hair, matching her clothes, bathing, cleaning up, etc.

Evan is in school. He comes home tired. He doesn't know how to handle all these new things coming at him. He needs guidance and help so he doesn't fall to pieces (though he does, every single day).

So... even though 9-11 am and 2-4 pm is easy (Daphne naps and it's just me and Makiah), 4-8 pm is HARD. Those 4 hours of nap time are not spent catching up, they are spent staying sane. Preparing for the 4 hours of craziness that happen every single night.

After school, dinner time, and bed time need some work... or I will fall to pieces (Oh wait. I do. Every single night).

Time.

There is never enough time, but I often find myself wishing it away. Though, right now I want it to slow down a bit, so I can catch up with myself.

Things I wish I had time to blog about, preferably before I head out to Utah later this summer...

Evan's preschool
Daphne's scooting videos
Daphne's crawling videos (that I haven't taken yet...)
Daphne's 7 month photos (that I haven't taken yet...)
Memorial day photos
Swimming lessons
Makiah's first dance lesson

I am finding myself overbooked... tired... and wishing I had more time to do the things I love. I am in the process of doing just that. It's amazing how hard it is to slow down and simplify. I think about the months ahead and wonder if it really is possible. It will take some changes that's for sure.

Also...

My last post... I hope I didn't offend anyone. Motherhood is a wonderful thing, and I don't hate it, regret it or wish it away. It's just hard. I also understand that everyone's life is hard, I am not the only one going through trials and hard times. I have some close people in my life that are going through hard times, and I think about them often... I know that my trials are very small and insignificant to what they are facing. We are all in this together though, it's wonderful that we have friends and families to support and help us in times of need. I am grateful for the comments, emails and phone calls that I receive from people that help me through these rough times.

Motherhood is...

Hard.

I feel like I am living two different lives in one. My first life wakes up early. Feeds the baby, changes the baby, plays with the baby, sleeps a little if possible, reads, talks to Dallas and sends him off to work. Then I put the baby down for a nap... my second life begins as my two kids wake up around 8:30. I feed them, dress them and get them ready for wherever it is we need to go that day. Then, when the baby wakes, I combine the two lives into one. The day is crazy though. Because now my two lives are all blended into one: being a mom of a demanding baby and being the mom of two young children. Trying to get things done all at once (with a baby on my hip).... cooking, cleaning, driving, shopping, planning, working out, diaper changing, feeding, showering (if I am lucky), disciplining, organizing, doing laundry, playing with kids, and trying to keep up with all the things I should be doing on top of all the day to day stuff (phone calls, scheduling appointments, reading scriptures, visiting friends, teaching my kids, taking photos of my kids, recording memories, etc.. etc... etc.). My only relief is nap time and bed time. But even then I am not done. I am never done. Because when one life slows down, the other speeds up. It's a vicious cycle.

I hit a point where I can't take it anymore. But I put on a face and pretend that I can. The only person who knows I am falling apart at the seams is Dallas. Poor Dallas... because all the weight that was on my shoulders gets shifted to his.

Being a mom is hard. It's the plain, honest truth. At the end of the day I don't know how else to describe it. But when I wake up in the morning, I do it again. Because it's what I want. Truly it is, I just have to keep reminding myself that it is all worth it. My three crazy, adorable, fun, loving, wonderful children are worth it and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This photo is for my 12 for 2012 project. The theme for May is: Motherhood is... The technique is: self portrait. This really isn't a portrait of myself, but I am in the photo :) It's more of my perspective, my view on things as a mom of young children. I really like how it turned out. I only wish Makiah would have been it the photo... but that's ok, I still love it.

More of Daphne

Sooo... I should have had this photo taken weeks ago and I should have posted it 10 days ago, after Dallas took it for me. But I didn't. I finally got around to editing and organizing my personal photos, so hopefully I'll be posting some more of what has been going on around here. 

I think the main reason I didn't post these right away was because I didn't like them :( We put up two bookshelves along my white wall in my room where I usually take these photos. I could either move the shelves... or find a new spot in my house. Let's just say, I wasn't too happy with the options I had. The light is just different from my room and I want the photos to all look similar. (Also, I needed a hair cut and my hair just doesn't look so good in this shot.) Okay, I am done complaining... I think. I do like these photos though, Daphne is just too cute.

6 months

3 months

Newborn

Utah and Birthday

I got to take a last minute trip to Utah last week. My dad had to have two surgeries recently and I wanted to be with him and help my mom out during this time that my dad is recovering from surgery. I flew out with Daphne so she could meet grandpa (finally!).  I was also lucky to be home with my family on my birthday :) It's been a while since I got to celebrate with them.

Here we are on my birthday with my dad. We partied it up at the care center that he is staying at this month...

Mom :)

The crew (and Brandon's precious Dr. Pepper)...

Daphne loved everyone! It was a perfect time to take her to meet everyone. She isn't nervous with new people yet.

My nieces loved Daphne, and Daphne loved having kids play with her. I really think she missed Evan and Makiah while we were gone. We Skyped a couple of times with Dallas, Evan and Makiah. Daphne got SOOO excited to see them. It was so cute.  

Sophie took good care of Daph, she was so sweet to her!

Demi :) I love this girl! She wouldn't come near me last summer... but this year she warmed up to me quick and even ran and gave me a hug on my birthday :)

The kids insisted on celebrating when I got home. They were sweet and had presents, cake and ice cream all ready for me. (Do you like how I have empty frames on my wall? I really need to get some more prints :))

It's good to be home, it was hard being away from my family. Luckily next time I go to Utah they will be coming with me!

One of those catch up posts, because I haven't posted in forever...

So, a quick catch up.

I don't take enough pictures. It's starting to bother me, so maybe I will change that.

We were super sick two weeks back and I still feel like we are finally getting back in the swing of things. It's amazing how long it takes to get everyone feeling better. Forever.

I am hitting that time of year that I feel sooooo homesick. It's been about 4 months since I've seen family and I still have 4 months until I get to visit family in Utah. That halfway point is HARD. Luckily, Dallas' sister is coming to see us soon. Yeay for visitors!!

March is going by FAST. But I will not complain, because it is usually slow. Also, the weather (minus the wind) is fabulous right now. Today was the best day yet, in the seventies. Flip flops, t-shirts... and really, I should have pulled out the shorts and capris. Soooo nice.

I keep telling myself that I need to take Daphne's 4 month pictures, but it hasn't really happened yet. But I took these the other day and I like them. :) I'll have to do some that are more posed later. For now, here is something cute to look at...

This past month Daphne can:

Roll from belly to back... on occasion, but not a lot. 

Reach and bat at toys

Grasp toys (she gets so excited when we put toys in front of her)

Giggle

Fall asleep on her own (only crying for 5 minutes or so)

Follow or turn towards our voices

Sit in her bumbo seat

Sometimes she tries to roll to her belly, but she hasn't figured that one out yet

At the beginning of the month when Daphne had a nasty cold, it threw off her whole schedule. She went from sleeping through the night, every night, to waking up once or twice. I got a taste of the sleep deprivation that I should have had during her 2nd and 3rd months. Lucky for me she was a great sleeper, but unfortunately that didn't last long. Now that she is feeling better she is starting to get her routine back.... but every other night or so she will wake up to eat and sometimes have a hard time going back to sleep. That or she wakes up really early.

Daphne is still her sweet little self, even though she wakes me up at night. Her sweet personality amazes me. I love how happy she is. The kids just love her to pieces, and so do Dallas and I.

Story about Evan: He is obsessed about calendars and time, as you may know. Last Monday after school Evan was really upset. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that the class calendar was wrong. March started on Wednesday when it was supposed to start on Thursday. He was practically in tears. I calmed him down and left before he made a scene. Later he told Dallas about this and he said that he told the teacher about the mistake, but the teacher told him that the calendar was right. He went on to explain that it was March 5th that day and not March 6th as they told him. They continued to tell him that it was March 6th. Oh Evan. He is so silly and likes things to be just right. No wonder he was sad when I picked him up. I wonder what the teachers thought when they realized that a five year old had been right and had noticed the silly mistake. To think that a five year old would even care :)

Story about Makiah: We got new neighbors and they have kids. My kids saw them outside in the back and wanted to play with them. Makiah was not afraid to ask them if they wanted to play, but was really confused when they said no. She came in the house so sad and explained what happened. I think it is so funny that my kids are not shy at all, when they have two very quiet and shy parents. I had to explain to her that it was ok if the kids didn't want to play, and that they might be shy. The next day she tried again to get the kids to play with her, but they said no again. Poor girl. Maybe one day they will come play with her :)

As for Dallas and I... Same old. I did get a new haircut though, that I really like. Dallas is just enjoying work. But we are both getting excited (more myself than him) for our new van that we'll be getting by the end of the week. Super excited!

today.

Today is movie day, lay down and relax day, sit and read a book day... whatever you want to call it. We are taking it easy because Evan is sick. Ugh. He was coughing up a storm at church yesterday, so we left early. Now he is running a fever and skipping school. Oh well, it's nice to have a day at home. It is kind of giving me a chance to catch up on here since I haven't blogged in awhile. Here is what's going on....

Daphne is now rolling over from her belly to her back. She has done it a handful of times, but not a lot or even everyday. But she is learning!

Daphne decided that sleeping though the night isn't the popular thing to do, only being 3 months old and all. She figures she should conform to what all the other babies are doing during the night... waking up their mom!

I got a new camera :) Though you would never know by how many photos I've been posting on here. I'll have to take some more, and start posting more often too.

I've been reading the Tiger's Curse books. I like them more and more as I read them. The first book was good, but it reminded me so much of Twilight that I wasn't sure how much I'd like the rest of the books (I like the Twilight books... I guess I just didn't like the idea of a book that was so similar). But I am finding that they really are unique and not so much like Twilight as I thought. I really liked the second book and I am excited to find out what happens in the third.

We have been looking for a van, finally. Stuffing three car seats into a sedan isn't very fun and we are SO excited to have something bigger.

Everyday when I wake up I think, today I am going to clean up this place! It hasn't really happened yet. Oh well. I did get rid of my "junk drawer" in my kitchen today. Hopefully that will eliminate some clutter.

I am incredibly excited for spring, and even more so for summer. Maybe then I will have more interesting things to post about.

Here is a movie of Daphne, I thought grandma's and grandpa's might enjoy :) Please ignore my "talking to a baby" voice...

Acceptance

I am not going to lie. Being a mom of three has been a hard adjustment. You know when you hear yourself thinking "Everything will be okay when things get back to normal..." And then you stop yourself and think "What is normal anyway? And when will things ever be normal?" Yeah. I think that everyday. So now I am trying to accept my life the way it is, instead of thinking the above, that everything will just get back to "normal" sooner or later.

So I am now learning to accept a few things, like....


My house will never be perfectly clean (I love having a clean house) and when it is "clean" it won't last long (unless 5 minutes is long).

Laundry will never be done. And I'll probably be doing a load at least once a day... from here on out. And folding laundry? forget about that one. That is what my bedroom floor is for, right?

Dinner, most likely, will not be on the table by the time Dallas walks in the door. And most nights leftovers, cereal or sandwiches is the way to go.

The translation for "meal time" is "sit and feed baby time" (I'll get around to eating... later) and "try to calm Makiah down time" (for some reason this has become her time to cry about everything).

Leaving the house, just going anywhere, takes time. And lots of it. Waking up early doesn't always do the trick (I find myself getting things ready the night before I have to go somewhere).

Shopping requires an extra hour of time, just in case... (potty breaks, time to feed the baby, calm a crying child... the list goes on).

I don't have quite as much time for personal hobbies (like photography :( And I can't even remember the book I last read).

My living room is now a playroom (well, it always has been. But now that baby is sleeping in the kids room, the living room is the playroom).

Date nights are now Netflix and ice cream nights (we are used to this one, though). Coupled with late night feedings for the baby.

Blogging and emailing will be done with a sleeping baby in my arms.

When I finally do find time to get something done, it will be interrupted.


I know that this won't last forever.  But for now, it's life. And do you know what? I like it (I keep reminding myself). Bring on the challenge. Being a mom is tough, but it's what I do and it makes me happy. I feel lucky to be a mom. Especially of these three amazing kids.

Life around here

It has been a nice break from life these past few weeks. Dallas got a week of work off and it was wonderful having him home. I never got sick of having him around, he was a great help and I loved having his company all day. Now I feel like I am being slow to get back into the swing of things. This next week I hope to get back into a routine. I am starting to love winter for one main reason: It's cold, and I get to spend most days relaxing inside :) But really, I need to get back into some kind of routine! I guess that is what new years resolutions are for... maybe I should actually make some resolutions....

I have slowed down on blogging up until today (mostly because I haven't had internet...)  I also slowed down on photography, up until this past week. Every time I look at Daphne all I can think is how different she is, and how fast she'll change. I need to take photos of her more often. 

Evan got this one for me. 

I posted two other posts below... if you want to take a look :)