Makiah's Story

Makiah's Story

Written on October 10, 2011

Before Dallas and I decided to have our second child, we were enjoying our time with baby Evan. Being a mom was fun, challenging, and different. It was a hard transition from being in school and work to being a stay-at-home mom. I often got bored and had a hard time being at home. Dallas decided to apply for graduate school at Purdue University in the fall of 2007, and that was when I decided I wanted another baby. I wanted someone for Evan to play with, and I wanted to have another baby before we made any big changes in our life (like moving across the country). I remember asking Dallas if he felt it was time, he wasn't so big on the idea as I was. After all, Evan was only 7 or 8 months old at the time. Dallas took the GRE and  turned in his application to Purdue and began looking for work as well. He was graduating from Utah State the following May and we weren't sure where we would be after that. I continued to ask for another baby :) Finally Dallas felt good about the idea. On November 19, 2007 (our second anniversary) we found out I was pregnant with our second baby. Evan was only 10 months old, he would be 18 months by the time the baby arrived.

We kept the pregnancy a secret until Evan's 1st birthday in January. We had a big family party for Evan and told everyone that day. We still didn't know what was going to happen after graduation. If by chance we did move to Indiana, we would be having our baby in Utah before the move.

This pregnancy, like Evan's, was hard emotionally. I quickly became depressed. I would get so bored, sad and anxious all the time. Being a stay at home mom did not help this situation. I constantly wanted Dallas to be home. I wanted to be around people. We visited my family as much as we could. But the traveling was tough on our budget and it was hard for Dallas to understand why I needed my family all the time. I had friends in the area, but no one I felt like I could talk to and gain support from. Again, I took an anti-depressant to help. It wasn't always enough though. I had to wait for my second trimester to take it and so the first trimester was very hard on me. As we continued to talk about hopefully getting accepted to Purdue, and maybe moving to Indiana, I had a very hard time. The thoughts of moving away from family made the depression worse. It was hard on Dallas and I. We just couldn't understand each other at the time.

Other than the depression, I really can't remember having any pregnancy troubles. I did have to take an iron supplement, just as I did with Evan's pregnancy. I was planning on having a C-section and so I didn't worry about birthing classes or reading any birthing books. My doctor was insistent that I should have a C-section. She said that I was just to small to birth a baby and that is how it would be with each baby I had. I was terrified of the thought of a VBAC, so I went with her opinion and planned on the C-section.

My due date was originally on July 27, 2008, but after my first appointment and ultra sound my doctor found that my baby was measuring big. She moved my due date up to July 20th. Since I was having a C-section, I knew I would have the baby within a week before my due date. On February 28, 2008 we found out that our baby was a girl! I was so excited that I cried :) We already had a name picked out for her, Makiah Jaiden.

Little Evan didn't really know what was going on throughout my pregnancy. He was so young and just didn't understand. He was such a good toddler and that made things easy for me. I had plenty of time to sleep during his naps and he enjoyed playing next to me while I rested.

In the spring we started to doubt that Dallas would get accepted into Purdue. We hadn't heard anything and that was really disappointing to Dallas. Dallas continued to look for a job with no luck. Two weeks before graduation we finally received a letter in the mail from Purdue. We still had our doubts and thought that it was a rejection since it had come later than we thought it would. We both cried (with joy :)) when we read that Dallas was accepted! We were both so surprised, and despite my worry before, we both knew that it was what we were supposed to do.

This is one of  the only photos I have of my pregnant belly with Makiah. Taken after Dallas' Graduation from Utah State, on May 3, 2008

I was able to ignore the nervous thoughts of moving across the country because of my pregnancy. The baby would come first and then the move (though I did a lot of packing, looking for a place to live, etc). As we got closer to my due date, we scheduled the C-section for Wednesday, July 16, 2008.

Having a scheduled C-section was wonderful. I knew exactly when our baby would come, and was able to plan everything in advance. The day before the surgery my sister, Cami, came up to take us to the hospital the next day and to watch Evan. (We didn't have a car because it broke down the weekend before). The day of my surgery my parents also came to see Makiah and to take Evan home with them for a few days (they also brought us our new car that they test drove for us and we bought just in time for the baby to come and for the move to Indiana).

The morning of the C-section I was so anxious. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. I had to be at the hospital by 5:30 a.m. if I remember right. The surgery would begin at 7:30 a.m. While Dallas and I were waiting in a hospital room, Dallas was trying to keep my mind off of things (probably for himself too). He was being his funny self and making me laugh so hard... eventually the laughing turned to tears as I realized what was going to happen soon. I cried and cried as we waited. They took me into the OR and prepped me for a spinal block. This was probably the scariest part for me. I cried more. I hated the feeling of my body going numb and not being able to feel anything or control myself. I handled the surgery very well this time around. Dallas watched the surgery as much as he could... I wanted him to stay close to me to help me through it. Things moved very quickly, there was no pain during the surgery, but a lot of tugging and pulling that I could feel. At 7:47 a.m. Makiah was born. She was 7 lbs  8 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. She had very dark eyes, almost black. Here hair was brown, and she had a crease above her nose that we thought was so cute. The best part was that I was able to hold her close to me with Dallas' help.

Next they took me to recovery, it was much better with Makiah than with Evan. I was able to nurse her right away and Dallas was there too. Later I went to my room and my parents, Cami, and Evan came to see Makiah. Evan was all over the place, he didn't seem to care about the baby and he didn't understand why I couldn't hold him. They soon left and I was able to get plenty of rest.

Breastfeeding Makiah was better than with Evan, but not easy. She latched on okay, but she sure sucked hard. I was having a hard time with it. I know nursing isn't easy and it takes time, but it was more than that. I couldn't enjoy it. I had a hard time with even the thoughts of nursing and having a baby latched on to me. I didn't like it, and I didn't like that I didn't like it. All my life I had planned to nurse my babies and it just wasn't turning out like I had planned. Just like with Evan, I felt pressured to do it, but didn't want to. I dreaded feeding times. During my hospital stay one of my nurses was my bishop's wife. I was nervous having her as a nurse, and I thought for sure that she would pressure me into breastfeeding Makiah. At one point she asked me how breastfeeding was going and I hesitantly told her that it was tough, I was extremely sore and I wasn't sure if I was going to continue. She was so helpful! She didn't try to sway me from breastfeeding, but she talked to me and reminded me that I was the mom and I could do what was best for me and my baby. She told me to work it out with Dallas and make the decision that we felt most comfortable with. It was so relieving. I decided shortly after that that I would bottle feed again. It was what I really wanted and what I was familiar with. Dallas agreed 100%.

I knew from the start of my hospital stay that I didn't want to stay there three nights again. I was determined to be ready to go home after two nights. I got up regularly and was able to take care of myself and Makiah for the most part. Dallas was able to stay with me during the night (it was the same hospital as with Evan, but it was a new maternity wing, so it was bigger and had a pull out bed for the father). We went home on Friday, July 18th and enjoyed a day with Makiah while Evan was still with grandma and grandpa.

On Saturday Evan came home. With all the visitors in the house he didn't even realize that Makiah was ours and she was here to stay. Once we had our house back to ourselves, Evan started to notice Makiah more and more. He loved having a baby sister and he loved helping his mom. My sister Bethany stayed to help me for about a week or so. It was nice having her around, especially since we were about to move soon.

Our family of 4 on August 3, 2008, Makiah's Blessing day.

The transition from having one child to two was a lot easier for me than the transition from not having any children to having one. I felt ready and I already had a routine. I guess the hard part was moving, but that doesn't happen every time a child comes into a family. It was wonderful having Makiah come into our family. I stay busy with two children and they have become the best of friends. It was just what I wanted and it made the move to Indiana easier in a way. It is wonderful to have a family of my own and being at home with my kids each day. I stay busy and I don't get bored anymore with two kids. I have loved being a mom!