Daphne's Story

Daphne's Story

Written on November 13, 2011

Photography by Kim Davis

I don't know where to start. This story is a story I'll never forget. Something that keeps replaying in my mind. It was an incredible experience, just like Evan and Makiah's stories. Each one of my children's births were so different. I am glad I was able to experience each one. Being a mother is... amazing.

I went into labor on Halloween night (though, I still claim I was in labor for the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy. Too many Braxton Hicks contractions). We got home from trunk-or-treating around 8 pm, and that is when I started noticing frequent contractions. I didn't think much of it. It had been a long, busy day... I figured they were just more Braxton Hicks contractions. By 9 pm the kids were in bed and I was still having contractions. I laid down and Dallas and I watched Soul Surfer (kind of a cute movie, by the way). I timed the contractions while we watched the movie. They were 8-10 minutes apart the whole time. After the movie ended, I called my mom and told her what was going on. She told me to get up and move around to see what would happen. I got up and started packing my bag for the hospital (wishful thinking, but I am glad I did it!). The contractions kept coming, though they were all over the place... 5-10 apart. I didn't know what to think... so I went to bed.

I got three hours of sleep, and then the contractions started to get more intense. By 3 am I couldn't sleep. They were still 10 minutes apart, but too intense to sleep through. I would fall asleep and then wake up during each contraction. By 5 am I couldn't sleep anymore so I took a bath instead. I wasn't sure what to think. I could handle the pressure of the contractions, but they weren't going away... or getting closer together. I went back to bed.

At 7 am I woke up Dallas and told him to get in the shower and get ready. I figured this was it and we would be heading to the hospital soon enough. Then I told him never mind... I wanted to take a shower first! If this was it, I wanted to be ready. I was able to shower and get ready for the day, just like it was any other day. It was really nice to feel so ready. But I still had my doubts that this was it (I know, I am crazy). In between each contraction I felt okay, and so it was hard to believe what was happening. By 8 am I told Dallas that maybe he should go to work and I'd call him home if things changed (contractions were still 10 minutes apart and bearable). Then I had a few strong contractions and told him never mind... this had to be it! At 8:30 I called my mom, asked her opinion, and she told me to call the doctor. I called the doctor's office, told them what was going on. They told me to come into the clinic so they could see where things were going.

I called Holly, our next door neighbor and friend, to watch our kids and started getting their things together. During each contraction I had to stop what I was doing, so I could concentrate on breathing. It's funny now that I look back at this... obviously I was in labor, but I still had my doubts. At 9 am I was feeling so rushed, trying to get the kids out of the house so we could get to the clinic. It was then that I told Dallas that I wanted to eat breakfast. If this was anything like Evan's delivery day, I would be in labor until late that evening. I wanted to eat. Dallas set my food at the table and when I sat down to eat I had a strong contraction. I was so mad at Dallas for making me sit on that hard chair! The kids were probably wondering what my problem was, I was so mad and it hurt so bad. Then we finally got the kids out the door... They were both so excited and happy as they left. It was kind of hard watching them go.

We finally got in the car at 9:20. I called my mom, because I was hesitant about going to the clinic rather than the hospital. She asked if I had to stop what I was doing when I had a contraction, I said yes. She then told me, "You are in labor, get to the hospital." That was it, we were off to the hospital by 9:25 (after turning around to get Dallas' phone... of course he had forgotten it!)

All this time I was wondering if this was real (by then I knew it was). I should have called Kim sooner (she was coming to take pictures for us at the hospital), but I was in denial all morning. I finally called her on the way to the hospital, then I handed the phone to Dallas. I couldn't talk, the contractions were all of a sudden closer together and very strong. He told her we were on our way to the hospital and we'd let her know what was going on. The drive was miserable, though Dallas got us there fast. I kept telling him to go faster, and to run red lights (which he didn't... :)) I was so impatient! The contractions must have been coming every 3 minutes by then, though I wasn't timing them. The contractions sped up so fast, just a half hour before they were only 10 minutes apart. I felt so weird. My neck and arms felt tingly and numb. I was so overwhelmed.

We got to the hospital by 9:50 if not a little sooner. I had called the clinic to tell them that was where we were headed. They came out with a wheelchair (thank heavens, by then I don't think I could have walked). As they checked me in all I could think was how much I wanted an epidural. The woman at the desk kept asking me questions and I just stared at her like she was crazy. I could hardly remember my own name. Dallas had to talk for me. I told Dallas to tell the nurse as soon as we got up to labor and delivery that I needed an epidural ASAP. I couldn't wait another minute.

As soon as the nurse met us upstairs I told her that I'd like an epidural as soon as possible.... then she told me that the anesthesiologist was in a C-section. Ummmm no. Not working for me. So I kept asking (politely) from time to time. Reminding her that was what I wanted needed.

I was dilated to a 7 by the time the nurse examined me (probably around 10 am). This was it. It was real. There was no turning back. Dallas texted Kim and told her to come. They took me to labor and delivery, on the way all the nurses we passed wished me luck. I just stared ahead. I was so overwhelmed.

The hospital staff was wonderful. My nurse was so patient with me. They pulled an anesthesiologist from another floor to come and give me my epidural. I was sooooo grateful. There was no way I could have done it natural. All through my pregnancy I thought about it, but by then I knew that I couldn't handle it. I was too emotional, overwhelmed and let's face it. I am a wuss. Yes it's true.

One thing that was really different from Evan and Makiah's births was how calm I was about the small things. I remember getting so scared about getting an IV, epidural and the spinal block for Makiah's C-section. But this time I didn't care about what was going on around me. The pressure from the contractions was more overwhelming than anything else. They could poke me all they wanted and I didn't care.

By 11 am I had my epidural and I was dilated to a 10. Fast. So fast. The doctor came in and broke my water and then left to get ready for the delivery. I was ready to push.

The epidural saved my sanity. By this time I was myself again. I was happy, smiling and so ready to see my baby. I asked if the pushing could wait until Kim got there and the nurse didn't have a problem with that. Kim arrived at 11:25 and shortly after I began to push. I was so glad that Kim was there. Taking pictures was so important to me, but it was the last thing on my mind... and Dallas' mind.

My nurse was amazing and so helpful. I was so worried about pushing, because with Evan's delivery that was where everything went wrong. This time my nurse was always telling me my progress after each contraction. She told me when I needed to do something different or when things were going well. My epidural was perfect. I could feel the contractions, but they weren't painful. I knew when to push, which made all the difference. Sometimes the nurse would say that a push didn't do anything (or would pull the baby back in a little) and I needed to change how I pushed. I could feel the difference and fix what I was doing wrong. It was a night and day difference with how things went with Evan's delivery. I honestly think that I could have delivered Evan, if I could have felt the contractions, if I had a more helpful nurse, and if I had better prepared myself for delivery. I don't believe anymore that my pelvis was too small to deliver Evan. I really think I could have done it.

Pushing wasn't too hard at first, then things began to change. The baby got closer and closer. Pushing got more and more hard. It is amazing that any woman can continue to work through this. The desire to see my baby helped me through the end. The phrase "bowling ball on fire" kept going through my mind, and that is all I'll say to describe how I felt. By this time I was not calm. But very determined. When the doctor stared preparing to actually deliver the baby, I felt so much determination to just get it over with. I kept saying things like, "just get her out!" I realized how important it was that I did my part, that I didn't give up. Dallas was an amazing help. He knew just what to say and do through all of this. I could not have done it without him. After about 50 minutes of pushing and an episiotomy, my baby was here. Daphne Juliet was born at 12:21 pm. They put her in my arms and I could NOT believe what just happened. I was in shock. I did it. I really did. I wasn't supposed to be able to, but I did.

It was amazing being able to hold Daphne so soon. The best feeling ever. She was beautiful. She looked so much like Evan and Makiah did as newborns. The nurses took her to be washed and I had to be stitched (not fun). Again, I was so glad Kim was there to take pictures. I was able to have Dallas with me when I needed him and at the same time I have these beautiful pictures of my baby girl....

Daphne weighed 8 lbs 6 oz and was 21 3/4 inches long. After hearing this I was so confused... how did I do this? She was just as big as Evan was. I couldn't believe it.

After Daphne was bathed I was able to hold her again. My emotions took over and again, I was in shock. It was amazing holding such a perfect baby in my arms. She was beautiful, healthy, and finally here. I had accomplished something I never thought I'd be able to accomplish.

I am so grateful for my doctor. She trusted my judgement all through my pregnancy. She knew I could do it. She was always sure to tell me that everything was up to me and I was in charge. I also knew that I could trust her judgement. I knew that she would tell me if something wasn't going right or if things couldn't go as planned. I feel so blessed to have found a doctor who allowed me to have a VBAC and that she was willing to help me make things work. I'm grateful that things fell right into place... everything went just as planned.

Since Daphne's birth I have been asked if having a vaginal birth was easier or harder than a C-section. I guess my answer is, it's just different. Each delivery was hard in it's own way, and each recovery was hard in it's own way. And now thinking of it, each pregnancy was hard in it's own way. Overall, I am glad things happened the way they did. I am so happy I was able to have a VBAC and that things went so smoothly.

It's amazing how different each experience was. I really wouldn't change things from how they happened with my previous deliveries. Evan's and Makiah's births were both an experience that I have grown from. I now feel so grateful that I had the experience of a vaginal birth, to know that I really can do it. It has made me a stronger person.... but, having the two C-sections has made me stronger as well. It's amazing how our accomplishments in life, no matter how they happen, make us stronger people.

(Makiah's eyes in the photo below just crack me up... I had to post this picture :))

This is what makes it worth it. I love my family so much. It is so neat to have these three beautiful children. I loved seeing Evan and Makiah interact with Daphne for the first time. They love their sister so much, it is just amazing. All through labor and delivery all I could think was "I'm never doing this again..." But really, I will. It was an amazing experience and I can't wait to meet baby number four... though it may be awhile ;)

I posted some of my favorite photos above, but here is the slide show that Kim put together for me. The pictures are beautiful, Kim did a wonderful job with them. She also did a post on her blog that you can see here. 

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